All hail karma
by chicaalterego
Summary: MeetYang Kuei Fei, living proof that plastic girls are not merely theoreticall cliche's. She has long hair, perfectly manicured hands, thick makeup, clothes at the rage... And, of course, an ego bigger than a mountain. Does she deserve a happy time playing Second Life? Hell no!


Hi there! Welcome to my new fanfiction "All hail karma" I was planning to go back to writing the ones I have ongoing when a thought popped on my head. "All OC stories here are bassed of likeable characters! I should amend that!" So this story was born. I hope you enjoy it...

and to all the nice people waiting for my update in Lukewarm Ice... I should start working on it soon. I have been busy though, then again this OC was born in my mind in july and I really needed to get her out of my system... Anyway: I don't own "Half Prince", "Prince" nor the other stuff that the other authors put on their disclaimers.

Now On with the story.

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Chapter 0: All hail karma.

You know Yang Kuei Fei, I mean not like in knowing _knowing _her -It's not like there's much to know anyway. After all, the plastic being in question is as swallow as an ant's bathtub. But who cares about brains when there are boobs, right? Stupid, damn boobs! Why the hell does a woman that unnerving has them? I mean, if there was any justice in the world "the god of boobs" would distribute those big-sized things more fairly.

Ok... I'm supposed to be a impartial, 3rd person, omniscient narrator, so I will shut up... (*cough* she is a bitch *cough*)

"Kuei Fei, wait up". A random foreign blonde walked up to our "heroine" as her hair swayed ritmically along with her hips.

Kuei Fei turned around briefly, but didn't stop her walking as her satellite caught up with her, and started speaking about something completely pointless -that would be too boring and nauseating to write down. Once reaching the classroom Kuei Fei sat down as noiselessly as it was humanly possible, same as she did her gracious walking...

Then again given how thin she is, and how she doesn't have the extra weight that a brain provides, and that she is made of plastic... Ok, fine! Don't yell at me! I'm not being impartial with the girl. But damn! How I hate her... Did I mention I hate her? Good! Ok, now back to the story.

Once our lovely waste of space... :Hey! I _did_said "Lovely"... Damn! nothing is good enough to you, huh? Then if you are going to keep on criticizing me, let the Barbie doll do the narration! -You probably won't do it anyway, given that the readers would "drown" in that incredibly deep mind of hers...

Wait, I wasn't being serious! Stupid author, come back here! Give me my mic back! Don't give it to her, no, NOOOOOO!

***  
POV Switch (This was going nowhere if the biased narrator kept on with her ramble)

I looked down to my right hand, were five perfect manicured nails, covered with glitter, sparkled beautifully.

_Class is SO boring, and it's so hard to play attention when the teacher's mustache moves along with his every word; and that spiky hair of his... Doesn't he know that that kind of look should only be wear by young hunks? One word. Lame.  
_  
The annoying voice of the teacher kept on sounding in the background, as I tried to focus in the magazine I was holding on top of my math book "...And then you multiply here... Blah, blah, annoying number thingy, blah blah, blah blah." Was all my mind processed, before someone opened the door of the classroom and the not-so-well-oiled metal thingy -used to hold the door in place and open- sounded with a shriek sound.

The ugly-mustache, math teacher removed the chalk from the board and turned to look at some geek standing outside the door "Come on in." He gestured to the geek who walked in the classroom. Then the geek did as intruded, before walking toward where the teacher signaled, and then, as the geek stood by his side the teacher introduced the geek "Class, this is 'Yang Lao Shi' the second son of the emperor of china"

_Wait, that __**thing**__ is the son of the emperor? The prince, of China?_

_Well, seems like I'm about to develop a taste for geeks... as long as they are royal geeks, I mean._

The teacher asked the prince to sit down in an empty chair across the classroom and my mind started going fast, thinking in the jackpot I might land myself with by befriending the new guy.

I could just imagine myself living in a castle, surrounded by luxuries and servants, and fitting right in...

It was settled, we were bound to become an item.

By the end of the day my best friend, Liaxue, had found all there was to know about the prince. I heard patiently as she kept on her ever-lasting ramble, looking for something useful to help me in my "romance".

In the end it was as I suspected. The guy was a complete geek, and he was playing an online game to boot! 'Second Life' it was called. Probably a place where unpopular people met. 'The realm of geeks, nerds and dorks' no doubt about that.

*Sigh* Oh, well... eventually something else useful should pop out.

...

It never did.

Feeling frustrated after a week of not finding anything useful to make the prince come groveling, pleading me to become his grilfriend -he was a prince, but also a geek, so I couldn't be the one to mak the first move- I decided to buy 'Second Life' for the sake of my plans. And that night I went on to sleep early to start playing.

I woke up in a dark room.

"Hello?" I cautiously called a second before light exploded all around me, and a weirdly-dressed girl appeared floating in front of me, telling me about the process to create my avatar and stuff. However, I didn't feel like listening to the game master any more than I felt like reading the manual of this stupid game.

"Excuse me," I interrupted her monotone ramble "I need to know the whereabouts of the prince."

"Oh!" The... program/person/thing in the floating chair stopped and looked in my was with an understanding expression -which was weird in my opinion. "There is no way of knowing the exact location of a player. Or at least that's what would usually be, however, I believe you can find Prince, in the infinite coliseum during his concert tonight, or tomorrow or..." She kept on listing dates and times, before straying to talk about his handsome looks and his costumes.

We were obviously talking about different people. It was soon apparent that there was a player whose name was 'Prince', and feeling like this person had mae me whaste my time hearing her endless rambling I snapped.

"I didn't mean the player 'Prince'. I meant the real prince, the prince of China, who is currently playing this stupid game, you brainless moron!" I yelled, before huffing arrogantly.

"The information of each player, his location as well as the name of his/her avatar is confidential." She replied in a monotone, her eagerness to talk obviously gone and a less friendly demeanor settling on her face as she gave me that completely useless piece of information.

Heh, like that was going to stop me. No one says no, to the fabulous Yang Kuei Fei.

"You know. I think that you have misunderstood me. I actually am friends with the guy in question, and wanted to give him the surprise to meet in the game" I amended sweetly.

"If he is your friend," The woman rebutted "you would know the continent and race, and possible location already. I can't send you next to him. As a newbie you would have to start your game in a newbie village, and then make your way to wherever he is."

Feeling increasingly annoyed with her know-it-all attitude I dropped the sweet facade. "Look," I growled "You are going to give me what I want, and do as I say! You unpopular being have the nerve of denying something to me? THE NERVE! In case you haven't noticed yet doing whatever people tell you is your job! I PAY YOUR SALARY YOU GEEK! YOU SHOULD KNOW YOUR PLACE, IN THE BOTTOM ON THE SOCIAL LADDER AND BE GRATEFULL THAT I'M EVEN BOTHERING TO TALK TO THE LIKES OF YOU!" I ended with ragged breath, before narrowing my eyes threateningly "You got that? Or are you too stupid to realize that you are in front of someone much superior to yourself?"

The woma's face grew red and I smirked, knowing for a fact that she had no otion but suck it up and do as I said. That was her job after all, and -after a brief pause in which I was gloating on my superiority- the woman spoke again "Of course! You are right! How blind of me." She stated kindly, in a way that gave me an odd feeling. "Don't worry, I will send you to the place someone 'as superior of you' would belong."

I smiled at that, but before I could rub my victory on her face I felt like falling and everything went black one more.

When I opened my eyes I was in the middle of some cave. My body felt heavy, and it smelled like dirt and mud.

"So this is the realm of the geeks." I couldn't help but say out loud, my voice coming out as a hoarse growl.

"Huh?" I couldn't help but mutter, my voice sounding as hoarse, growlish and mean as before, while my long teeth clanked with each other.

Letting my hands touch my face I could feel the blood drain of my body as I climbed out of the cave, towards the source of light where the surface should be located. Running as fast as my short, meaty legs would allow me I reached a river and looked at my face... No, there was no way that was my face. Ugly, fat and full of wrinkles, with greyish skin, in a shade no human could ever bare to have, even in their deathbeds, and long razor-like fangs everywhere inside my mouth.

I had become a drwaf.

Feeling the urge to vomit just by glancing at my reflection I stood up dizzily and stumbled in the riverbed, not daring to look at the hideous monster I had turned, or the pauper-like, worn out clothes over my body. And there I stayed in silence for the span of several minutes in which I mentally cursed the instant I decided to go with this stupid plan of chasing after the royal dork. I also cursed the woman who had not warn me that I would become such a hideous creature by playing this game.

Soon purple rat came on my way, and bit my hand, which was resting in the floor, and a voice boomed in my head "System notice: Player 'I'm so superior' has been bitten by purple rat, hp-1"

Rage swirled in my mind, and I abruptly stood up and started stomping over and over the rat's body, even when that annoying mental voice had announced that I had killed it. I would have continued to stomp to no end, but the rat was soon replaced by some sort of leather purse... A very ugly purse.

Looking down to the ground, and feeling bewildered by the sudden appearance of the accessory, I stopped any movement. I felt like my body could not make any coherent thought. Then, feeling fed up with the whole thing I decided to drop the whole thing, log-out and go back to my regular life, where I was perfect and everyone as like a little stone in the roadside I could stomp and kick to my heart's content.

The morning after my first _and_ _last_ gaming experience, I got myself as fabulous as possible, even daring to put on a bit more of makeup that usual in order to erase the bitter taste of the past night, and swore to myself to never tell soul about what had happened. Once I was all dolled up I grabbed the helmet that rested on my desktop, and walked out the house to throw the cursed thing into a nearby trashcan. I started to walk away from it, and keep on my usual waling route to the school when the voice of my best friend called for me to wait. As I recognized the voice to belong to my best friend I halted and turned around, just in time to see a random girl pick out the helmet I had just disposed off, out of the trashcan.

Deciding to ignore the pauper-like thief that got the cursed helmet I let my friend catch up to me, and then we walked to the school.

"Kuei Fei?" Liaxue called me "I was thinking, that if you were to date the prince you would become a princess. Being a princess would suit you so much." She commented distractedly as we waited the trafic light to change colors.

"Liaxue," I called out softly, before adding in an indignant tone "He might be a prince, but he is also a geek. I have standards."

"I see..." She trailed off distractedly, and we walked the rest of the way in awkward silence. She probably sensed something, but was smart enough to not push it.

And so, I secretly kept on thinking on a way of winning the prince over. Nothing came to mind and another week passed. Then, all of a sudden I saw them, the prince and the girl who had picked up the helmed I threw in the trashcan, kissing passionately behind a conveniently placed tree in a desolated area in the campus, and I felt my blood boil.

_That bitch stole my strategy, my helmet and my prince!_ But I was not going to let things end this way. Of course not! It was now a matter of pride. So, stomping off towards the nearest store, I fished my wallet out of my purse, ready o buy a new 'Second Life' helmet.

The end.

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**AN:** Hi there, it has been a while since I last wrote. I dropped over half the stories I had been reading on this site, and then when I came back I decided to read Danny Phantom xovers instead of going back to catch up the ones I had left.

I don't regret it though.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as the first narrator did (she was snickering in the background when Kuei Fei was turned into a drwaft). I hope all of you are satisfied with it being a oneshot. I thought about giving the idea some more chapters, but since I'm not likely to work on 2 stories at the same time without dropping one I decided to keep this one short.

I might add a bonus to it, if it turns out to be surprisingly popular. Though I feel that I am a little rusty after so much time without writing, and decided not to bother my dear beta with it, since I might decide not to publish this one, given how I wrote it to myself more than anything.

Please review, and give me hugs. I have missed those, a lot, in the long months I have been gone.


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